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So, this journey started with a writing prompt “What’s more healing: laughter or tears? Explain.” After some side discussions it transmogrified into also “What’s the most helpful: laughter or tears?” and “What’s the most healing thing somebody had done for you?”

Not sure this post was ever going to get done - lol (also, to be fair, not sure any piece of writing is ever “done”). My notes are scattered beneath this as I type. My hope is that they will all amalgamate in a lovely, smooth shape, not unlike that T2 scene, but you have indulged my prelude enough.

My working definitions

Laughter - The bursting forth of exuberance and spontaneous feeling, often infectious and in response to some emotion including: joy, happiness, pain, delight, or comfort. On a side note, laughing while in (or because of) pain is, ironically, a funny thing to see and do.

Crying - The bursting forth of a physical release of tears, air, and muscle tension in response to sharp and intense feelings including: pain, sadness, fear, relief, or sometimes, joy. On a side note, crying while experiencing (or because of) happiness is ironic.

It would appear that laughing and crying are two sides of the same coin and come from the same, deep core place of unprocessed emotion begging to be let out. When discussing this with my son, he said something that I’ve been trying to sit with (well, actually several things): laughing is surrender, and laughing is the higher/deeper one. He also was the root of me exploring that they come from the same place. That man is a deep well and causes me much thought.

Laughing

It seems to me that laughter, like the type that comes from the depths of my soul which has to escape and in the process causes me to not breathe, is delightful and rare. It is such a release and feels so good - it’s cyclical and self feeding - like once you start it’s difficult to stop.

It’s actually a tool used for stress relief and endorphin release. And you can trigger it! It’s a simple technique. Count from 1 to 10 and at each number, laugh that amount of times. Once at one, twice at two, etc, etc. The first few will be manual and forced and it is rare that you make it past 7 or 8 without actually bursting forth into actual laughter.

I’ll pause while you try it. I know, right?!?

Crying

Releasing tears comes easy to me now. Easier in the last few years as the torrent of emotions (primarily grief) can no longer be contained. I can pretty much start to cry on command. Not by using a tool (like the laughter one above), but simply by just slightly easing up on the power being supplied to the force field that is holding it all together.

I have a dear friend who can’t. She rarely cries. That’s not a criticism or judgement, that just is. For a variety of reasons, including safety, vulnerability, trauma, and being burned too often, it’s rarely a viable outlet. But man, can she laugh. And her smile - it lights everything up.

So, which one is it?

As I listened to my son describe the difference between laughter and crying (with the healing lens) and how he was describing it, I realized I could say EXACTLY what he was saying and just switch the words (laughter and crying) around.

As I paused to let things percolate, I got sidetracked writing my Valentine’s Day blurb. As I was writing it, I remembered that my buddy had wanted to see that Felicia Day video she sent me. At the time I wasn’t ready to share it but I realized now I was. I searched for it, saw that it was totally of a sendable size, so I messaged him the video. His response made my day: “I appreciate that we’re at the point where timelines mean nothing, like the fact that you followed up 3 years later I don’t even bat an eye”. Talk about laughter, right? Anyway. In looking for it, I realized it was stored in my “Happy Place (fun)” folder. MY HAPPY PLACE FOLDER! I totally forgot I had this!! I started it years and years ago to have a central place for video clips, audio segments, and fun things (memes, gifs, etc that cause me to experience happiness, joy or to just laugh! I had not looked or added to it IN OVER A YEAR! Oy vey. Timing, amirite?

I spent some time in the folder and had much, much laughter. It was very nice. Maybe even… healing.

So while it’s, of course, situational, I think my answers are the following:

“What’s more healing: laughter or tears?”

Laughter

“What’s the most helpful: laughter or tears?”

Tears

Let me explain. For me, crying is the gateway that allows me to release. To pour out. To open the floodgates. To just get it all out. Unpack. Ungrasp. Unclench. Allow the emotion to separate from the constraints of my body through the physical manifestation of tears escaping (and, if I’m honest, at times snot when it’s ugly crying). Things get unstuck and released and crying is an emptying of. Crying creates space. It allows you to see the thing (often pain or sadness), engage with it, experience it, and release it (or some of it).

Then, and only then, once there’s room, the healing can begin. And man, do I forget how good and healing laughter can be. Like, legit writing this reinvigorated my realization as to how much I’m missing laughter and I know that because I have been building my “Happy Place (fun)” folder for YEARS, and I just forgot about it .

Thank-you for the reminder :)

What’s the most healing thing somebody has done for you?

Off the top of my head:

Huh. I think that’s it. The last one.

Posted on February 9, 2025   #writingprompt  





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