I’ve had several opportunities recently to (re)connect with different friends and it has been delightful and so so incredibly effortless and easy to be with them.

Why? Why are some people just so easy to be with and some people drain all of my life force?

I’m not sure I have “the” reason, and after sitting with this for a bit, here’s my “in progress and process” list:

• Trust
  • Keeping confidence is really important to me, even when I’m not explicit about it
• Meeting each other where we’re at
  • Not where we’ve been or we’d like each other to be
• Sacred space
  • Putting the phone down/away
  • Minimizing distractions
• Showing up
  • Being honest with where we’re at, not sugar-coating and also not ruminating
• Laughter
  • So. Much. Laughter.
• Physical connection
  • Hugs, touching in conversation, gesturing
• Kindness & empathy
  • Listening, relating, holding space for both the words and feelings
• Freely emote
• Asking questions
  • And then actually listening to the answer
  • Not just a mechanism to talk about what you want to talk about
• Genuinely glad to see you
• No bullshit
• Being Seen
• Clear communication
  • I have this much time
  • I don’t want to do that, how about this?
  • What did you mean by that?
  • That’s not what I meant, I mean…
  • Asking for clarification
• Give and take in conversation
  • Broad broad range of subjects and depth of discovery
• Curiousity
• No judgement
• Freely flow
  • Conversation or silence
  • Flexible decisions (you want to do this or that or?)
• Actually wanting to spend time together (not obligation)
• Low/no masking
• Not getting offended when I invariably say something awkward or the “wrong” thing (it’s me, so it happens frequently - lol)

I value these types of connection. A lot. They are a source of sustenance for my soul and I sometimes forget that.

Well, more than sometimes.

Posted on February 2, 2025   #Friendship     #100