This is from a writing prompt which was “You’re given 15 minutes to talk to a room full of listening 20-year-olds. What would you say?”
I would like to congratulate all of you.
You are willing here to hear something I have to say. That’s a massive step. To be open, to be willing to hear, to be willing to look at information you may not have seen and then either evaluate and integrate, evaluate and question, or evaluate and say “that’s bullshit”.
The first thing I’m going to say is going to suck for most of you.
Turn your phone off.
Oh.
Eff.
Eff.
Off.
Not silent, or DND, or vibrate. OFF.
There is absolutely nothing going to happen in the next 15 minutes that will require your instant response. And, if there is, I give you leave to depart now. Not because I hate you, but because I respect that there are things more important to you than listening right now.
So, I will wait while your turn your phone (or phones) off and tuck them away.
(30 second pause) - or longer so that it borders just on uncomfortable
I’m going to share some ideas with you over the next 10 minutes and then you will have some time to reflect on them and bounce them around a bit. Allow the ideas and words to sit alongside you, even if you disagree or they are uncomfortable.
Silence.
Develop a habit, rhythm, and space for silence. It’s only in silence that you can hear. Your conscience, your gut, what your intuition is telling you. Go for walks without your phone. Go swimming. Spend time cold plunging. Sit by bonfires in the evening by the beach. Leave the phone alone. It will be uncomfortable. You will crave the dopamine hit from that comment, like, text, or meme. Practice the discipline of silence.
Nature.
Spend time in, and with, nature. Go for walks. Hike. Pet a dog. Cat-sit. Go to the beach. Get to the water. Hop a stream. Dance in a puddle. Run in the rain. Get soaking wet. Taste snowflakes on your tongue. Walk into the wind and lose your breath. Sweat in the sun. Absorb the goodness.
Friendships.
Take time, effort, and energy. Go for walks. Laugh together. Cry together. Watch movies, listen to music, work on a project, help somebody move, volunteer your time together. Friendships grow best when you are doing something together towards a common goal. It’s also a risk. Some friendship won’t work out. Some need to be let go. Some aren’t reciprocated. Friends may be for a reason, season, or for life. They’re all ok. Not everybody can be your Sam.
Life is not fair.
The walk you go on will have different hurdles, obstacles, rocks, snakes, or sunshine than somebody else’s journey. You may get the promotion or raise or you may be/feel overlooked. You piece of the pie may be smaller. Your dream date may marry somebody else. Roll with it, don’t demand “fairness” for yourself - you won’t get it. That’s not to say you need to be walked over or stand for injustice - that’s not what I’m talking about. Don’t get caught up in the small stuff or in the victim mentality of “life’s got it in for me”.
Kindness.
Grow and develop kindness. Move that little creature out of the way on your walk if they’re gonna be stepped on. Hold the door open. Buy somebody a coffee. Show compassion. Make eye contact with people that you are uncomfortable with. Treat all people with dignity. Listen with intent. Don’t mock or laugh at people. Create space where people feel safe to engage with you
Listen.
When you are walking, listen to the bird chirping, the squirrels chattering, the wind rustling the leaves, the crunch of the dirt underneath your feet, the stream gurgling in the distance, the cawing of crows in thy sky, the odd yip of a coyote, and the swish of your elbow brushing your backpack. Have that same attentiveness and awareness when you are sitting with your friends, when you are working the work, when you are cooking, or when you are resting.
Explore.
Sights. Sounds. Places. People. Experiences. Push past your comfort and get out. While it may not feel like it, you are at the stage of your life where you have the least amount of responsibility you will likely have for the rest of your life. Use this moment. Get out in the wild. Experience it.
Gratitude.
Everyday after your evening walk, write down three things in a journal that you are grateful for that day. Everyday. Don’t miss it. It doesn’t have to be big or monumental. That you had food. That you were able to see the clouds. That you had clothes to wear. Develop a rhythm of gratitude.
Roil with it.
This will be easier for some of you than others and learn to roll with it. Your path is not going to look like you think it’s going to look. There will be curves when you expected straight sections, there will forks in the road, the edge of the cliff will be uncomfortably close, and the incline may be steeper than the trail review said. You may get lost or wish you were at home on the sofa. Those feelings are ok and push through and go with it.
Give.
Don’t worry so much about what you can get, but give. Share that trail-mix, pack an extra handful of dark-chocolate covered almonds, allow yourself to stop and talk to other journeyers. Worry less about having and more about being satisfied with what you have, or don’t have. Help others. Encourage them when they want to turn around. Or, if they need to turn around, turn around with them.
Push.
You will not ascend to the peak without pushing. It is not easy. It will be harder than your thought. And it’s worth it. That awe-inspiring moment when you turn the final corner or scramble that final section, is worth it. Even if it’s cloudy and there is no view, you did it. You can do it. You ARE doing it.
Be somebody’s Sam.
Not everybody can be Frodo, but everybody can be Sam. Learn a good go-to potato recipe. Have spices on hand. Be prepared. Walk alongside. Encourage. Protect. Overlook offenses and slights. Allow them space to be when they need it and be there when they’re in trouble.
Figure it out.
Everybody is trying to get through life and people will often unintentionally pull you into their orbit and fill your time. While that’s ok, don’t let somebody else’s character or identity become your own. Learn who, and what your are. Long walks and alone time help with this. Find out what you like, what you don’t like. Spend a week preparing your eggs differently every day. Find out if you prefer soft-boiled, basted, scrambled, sunny-side up, poached, omeletted, or best in cookies :)
Cup ’o Tea.
You will not be everybody’s cup of tea. Some people don’t like hiking. That’s ok (really, it is). While this may feel counter to several things I said a few minutes ago, you won’t “fit” with everybody. That’s not your fault. That’s not their fault. Move on. There are plenty of people and places that WILL appreciate you and be a place where you can steep and sip and saunter.
Count the cost.
Saying yes means that you are saying no to something else. While that is ok and actually necessary, just be aware of it. If you go for that day-hike on Saturday, you will not be available to help them move. Maybe do it Sunday. You might miss your regular family brunch and that one time will be ok. Say yes to new things. Even if you think you won’t like it. Have an open mind. Except meth. Not even once. (this will draw chuckles, if it doesn’t embrace the awkward and say “you’re allowed to laugh at that).
Laugh.
A lot. Often. Loudly, Until you can’t breathe. Until your sides hurt. It’s so good for your soul. Let it out. Be with people on the journey that can laugh with you. And make you laugh. Laugh at your mistakes. At silliness. When it hurts. Allow the lightness and freedom of laughter fill your heart.
Cry.
It’s ok to cry. When it hurts, when it doesn’t end the way you thought it would. When your dog can’t climb anymore but you’re not at the top. When you walk by the waterfall where she said she loved you and would never leave you. When you stub your toe so hard you can either laugh or cry (or heck, do both). Let it out.
Let it go.
Hold things with an open hand and allow things to breathe, to have space and to be. There is nothing in life that is truly “yours”. Hold it all gently and with care. That doesn’t mean you can’t protect or love or guard or hold. It just means that all of this is so fragile and temporary that enjoy it when and while you can, and when it’s gone, continue. That Whiskey-Jack will only flutter in your hand for a few fleeting moments and then fly away. That moment was yours, and can’t be taken away, and also that moment is now passed. That’s ok too.
Now we’re going to practice a bit. I am going to set a timer on my phone and we’re going to sit in absolute silence for 3 minutes and 33 seconds. If you’ve never done this, it’s probably going to feel awkward. You’re going to squirm. If you chose to close your eyes (which I strongly recommend), you’re going to want to open your eyes. You’re going to want to look around, you’re going to think “he forgot to set his timer, we’re already at 10 minutes”. All of this is ok. Just sit with it.
During this time, reflect on what you just heard. What are several words or ideas that stood out for you? That made you feel uncomfortable? That challenged you? That spoke to you? That encouraged you?
Ok, ya’ll ready?
Boom. Timer’s started.
3:33
stop the timer before it goes off
Ok, when you’re ready, open your eyes back up. See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?
Now if you reach under your chair, you will find a small package taped to the underside of it. Go ahead and grab it and open it up.
pause
You will have found a notepad and three different pens. Choose which pen is the most comfortable or brings the most joy and we’re going to take 3 minutes for you to write down a few of the thoughts you had. Writing doesn’t have to feel like a high school English class assignment - feel free to write a poem or draw a picture or doodle out the drippings of your brain. Make physical and practical what has been percolating over the last 15 minutes.
Ok - go!
stop the timer before it goes off
Ok - 30 more seconds to wrap up.
I said a lot today. Thanks for listening and walking alongside of me for the last 15 minutes.
Continue the journey. One foot in front of the other. Get out and go for your own walks :)
Posted on March 16, 2025